I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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