He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
