i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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