Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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