You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
