Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
