I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
