So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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