I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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