Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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