I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
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There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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