high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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