Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
