is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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