Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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