His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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