you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
