I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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