Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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