i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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