I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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