I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize