Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were trust falling into bushes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize