This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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