Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
