24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
