were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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