why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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