dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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