Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
