Me too!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i came on her dog
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
