i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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