trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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