last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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