i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
