"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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