i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
