hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
