i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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