did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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