remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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