"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize