too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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