Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
