Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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