I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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