Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
