I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
