ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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