covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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