your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
