The beer is more important than you right now.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
