We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
