No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
