I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
