I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
