you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In other news, I just burned my penis
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
