Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
