Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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