i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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