: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
